Fun Facts About States

dwasson

dwasson

A rock - me - hard place
Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, it's time to use your hand for a map, because we're headed off to Michigan, so let's get started...

Michigan became the 26th state on January 26th, 1837, and was originally a penal colony for disloyal Canadians who refused to say "eh?" at the end of every sentence.

If someone from Michigan flips you off, don't be offended. He's probably just trying to tell you to take I-75 to Mackinaw City.

Famous singer Madonna was born in Detroit, Michigan, which may explain why her bras looked like the hubcaps from a '57 Chevy.

Michigan's nickname is the "Wolverine State", even though there are no longer any wolverines in the state. The last Michigan wolverine died in 1872 when it was eaten by a badger while attempting to sneak across the border into Wisconsin.

Rogers City, Michigan boasts the world's largest limestone quarry, which is where Fred Flintstone used to work before he made it big in Hollywood.

Yes, I know Fred Flintstone lived in Bedrock, but he commuted.

Being surrounded by four of the five Great Lakes, Michigan has more bridges than any other state, most of which Ted Kennedy has driven off of at one time or another.

The Detroit Zoo does not keep its animals in cages, because they all know better than to wander the streets of Detroit after dark.

Industrialist Henry Ford was born in Dearborn, Michigan, and invented the assembly line to streamline the process of killing union agitators.

The Ambassador Bridge connecting Michigan to Canada was built in 1953 and has since been heavily mined to prevent more talentless, hack actors like William Shatner from sneaking into our country.

No matter where you stand in Michigan, you're less than 100 miles from one of the Great Lakes. If you're in Detroit, you're also less than 100 feet from the scene of a violent crime.

Politician Thomas Dewey was born in Owosso, Michigan, and mentored Al Gore in how to lose a close election.

Most snowblowers sold in Michigan are manufactured in Detroit and come with 10-year/100,000 mile warranties.

They usually expire due to mileage.

The state flag of Michigan consists of a dark blue background over which is a lighter blue shield and the motto, "Cold like Wisconsin, but more recognizably hand-shaped".

The name Michigan comes from the Chippewa Indian word "Mishigawa", meaning "half my pocket change is Canadian, eh?"

Rock & Roll legend Ted Nugent was born in Detroit, Michigan, but left the state in 1982 after he ran out of animals to kill there.

Although the Western shore of Michigan has many large sand dunes, it has no camels as they were hunted to extinction by Ted Nugent in 1981.

James Vernor invented Ginger Ale in his Detroit pharmacy. It's one of the most popular drinks in the nation, except in Kansas, where it's regularly outsold by Mary Ann Ale.

Michigan is the only place in the world with a floating post office, which is frequently attacked by disgruntled former employees "going pirate".

Aviator Charles Lindbergh was born in Detroit Michigan. His solo flight across the Atlantic in 1927 was the first recorded instance of an American being glad to arrive in France.

Michigan has more than 11,000 lakes, all of which have - at one time or another - hidden Jimmy Hoffa.

In the 1950's & 60's, the prevalence of Detroit black singing groups created the style of music known as "Motown". Since the advent of rap, it's been called "Mofotown".

In 1929, The Michigan State Police established the world's first police radio system after inventing the chocolate glazed radio receiver.

The state reptile of Michigan is the Painted Turtle, or - as the natives refer to it - the Crunchy Speed Bump.

---

That wraps up the Michigan edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jam out to some funky Mofotown grooves.
 
Is it true there is no spring or fall in Mich...just summer and winter...
Mich is also where the Jimmer lives...right...
 
Michigan sucks soooo bad, it keeps Ohio from sliding into the Ohio River :D

KillJoy

PS - GO BUCKS!!
 
Fun Facts About Ohio

For Killjoy

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, the natives will be tricking us into believing that buckeyes actually come from the annual shedding of the male deer's eyeballs as we visit Ohio. So let's get started...

Ohio became the 17th state on March 1, 1803 and was originally populated by people who were improperly whacked by the Detroit mob and dumped into Lake Erie.

The state flower of Ohio is the Scarlet Carnation, more popularly known as the flower that cheapskates buy for their ladies instead of roses.

The first ambulance service in the US was started in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1865 as a method of promoting physical fitness among lawyers.

Cleveland, Ohio is home to America's first traffic light. The idea was borrowed from the French "war light", whose green, red, and yellow signals told French citizens whether to flee, surrender, or collaborate.

Ermal Fraze invented the pop-top can in Kettering, Ohio, which replaced the older, less reliable method of opening cans - outraging a Muslim into suicide-bombing it open for you.

Singer Dean Martin was born in Steubenville, Ohio, and was the last non-Frenchman to sincerely believe that Jerry Lewis was funny.

The cash register was invented in Dayton, Ohio in 1879 by James Ritty. The first model consisted of a locking drawer attached to his wife's cleavage.

"Hang On Sloopy" is the official state rock song of Ohio, which narrowly beat out "Smack My ***** Up".

Although Ohio's state nickname is the "Buckeye State", long-time residents still prefer the previous nickname of the "Big Red Dangling Nuts State".

Ohio's name comes from an Iroquois Indian word meaning "Lake Erie's on fire again".

Founded in 1869, the Cincinnati Reds were the first professional baseball team. The second professional team wasn't created until 1870, which may explain why the Reds won their first 130 games by forfeit.

Akron, Ohio was the first city to use police cars. Coincidentally, it was also the first city with a donut shop.

Cincinnati was the first city with a full-time professional fire department, originally consisting of 25 Dalmations with bladder-control problems.

Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world, annually producing enough of the material to supply rubber chickens to every crappy prop comic on earth. Or to supply one Carrot Top show.

The American Federation of Labor union was founded in Columbus, Ohio. It offers all the high-quality corrupt thuggery you've come to expect from East Coast unions, but with a pleasant mid-western accent.

At the age of 77, Ohio senator John Glenn became the oldest man to visit outer space aboard the space shuttle Discovery. The ship was grounded for six months afterwards while crews worked around the clock to get the "old person smell" out of it.

Cleveland, Ohio, is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is located across the street from the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Museum.

Ohio is the nation's leading producer of greenhouse and nursery plants. None of which are marijuana. And no, I don't know where you can get any. Now get away from me, you stupid hippy!

Canton, Ohio, is home to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. There's no doubt in my mind that Terrell Owens will make it in there someday - if he stops at the front counter and pays for an adult admission ticket.

Neil Armstrong was born in Wapakoneta, Ohio, and became the first man to walk on the moon. The second man to walk on the moon... eh... who cares about THAT loser!

Born in Dayton, Ohio, the Wright Brothers invented the airplane in 1903. Their accomplishment was was largely ignored until they invented the scantily-clad stewardess in 1905.

Americans have elected seven presidents from the state of Ohio. If we elect three more, we'll get a coupon for a free Speaker of the House.

The hot dog was given its name by concessionaire Harry Stevens of Niles, Ohio, after discovering that people weren't interested in buying his "snouts & sawdust sausages".

50% of the United States population lives within a 500 mile radius of Columbus, Ohio. The other 50% lives with a profound sense of relief.

Charles Kettering of Loudonville, Ohio, invented the automobile self-starter in 1911, which was a huge improvement over the old method of grabbing the engine block while pushing the car into an electric fence.

Ohio's state flag is the only one of the 50 states' which is a penant shape, rather than rectangular. Sorta like that kid you went to school with who thought that being the only person with a mullet made him cool.

In 1839, Charles Goodyear of Akron, Ohio, developed the process of vulcanizing rubber. Prior to that time, rubber could neither live long nor prosper.

Teflon was invented by Roy Plunkett of New Carlisle, Ohio, in 1938 after he followed a recipe for homemade glue typed up by his dyslexic secretary.

Oberlin College was founded in 1833, with the goal of becoming the first interracial and coeducational college in the US. It took a lot of persuading to get people to part with perfectly good tuition money only to be forced to rub elbows with filthy Irishmen.

Civil War General and US President Ulysses S. Grant was born in Point Pleasant, Ohio. His only notable accomplishments were getting really drunk and killing people. Which means that if Ted Kennedy ever became president, we'd soon have a new portrait on the $50 bill.

---

That wraps up the Ohio edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go find an electric fence so I can start my car.
 
Hey didnt Lake Erie catch fire because of all the toxic waste coming out of Ohio??
And isnt Cleveland called the Mistake by the lake??

I lived in Cleveland for over a year while going to school. I actually had a good time out there.
 
Blackened300a said:
Hey didnt Lake Erie catch fire because of all the toxic waste coming out of Ohio??
And isnt Cleveland called the Mistake by the lake??

I lived in Cleveland for over a year while going to school. I actually had a good time out there.
Click to expand...
Yep on both accounts.
 
Cleveland Rocks

wmms, the agora, micheal stanely,north olmstead, westlke, shaker........O back to the point....
cleveland engine 1&2............351---302--etc etc....cleveland is the town in ohio IMHO......................
 
chrish said:
wmms, the agora, micheal stanely,north olmstead, westlke, shaker........O back to the point....
cleveland engine 1&2............351---302--etc etc....cleveland is the town in ohio IMHO......................
Click to expand...

You forgot Lakewood Ohio, second to San Francisco for gays. Its close enough to be part of Cleveland so dont start that border line crap!

I loved the Great northern mall in North Olmstead. My apt had plenty of blacklight posters from Spencers in that mall. :rasta:
 
HAHA!!!

:D

But you forgot the state slogan: "Ohio: The buttcrack of the US"

:D

KillJoy
 
Indeed funny!;)

But there are a few corrections to be made.

Ohio's name comes from an Iroquois Indian word meaning "Lake Erie's on fire again".
Actually the Cuyahoga river burned. Not Lake ERIE. Had the Lake burned, prevailing winds would have colored Detroit black.
But then again...


Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world....
Was.
Sadly Firestone moved to Atlanta essentially f-ing hundreds of laborers out their retirements if they failed to move along as well.

Cleveland, Ohio, is the home of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which is located across the street from the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Museum.
It has since closed.
Lack of interest.

Ohio is the nation's leading producer of greenhouse and nursery plants. None of which are marijuana.
According to High Times Magazine, the Amish in Ohio grow some of the finest ganj in America.

Oberlin College was founded in 1833, with the goal of becoming the first interracial and coeducational college in the US.
Mission accomplished.
Not too many Irish in site however.



I am looking forward to learning more about Kentucky.
That should prove mighty interesting.:P
 
300a

Blackened300a said:
You forgot Lakewood Ohio, second to San Francisco for gays. Its close enough to be part of Cleveland so dont start that border line crap!

I loved the Great northern mall in North Olmstead. My apt had plenty of blacklight posters from Spencers in that mall. :rasta:
Click to expand...

No i didn't forget you ? & your people ( not that there is anything wrong with IT).....I was simply typing what interests me,......AS you did
thanks
 
Fun Facts About Kentucky: The Director's Cut

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to put the K in KFC, because we're headed out to Kentucky, so let's get started...

Kentucky became the 15th state on June 1, 1792, despite the fact that no one in the state can actually count that high.

The state sport of Kentucky is horse racing, mostly because you can't lose your license for "riding under the influence".

In Kentucky, spitting tobacco juice on someone is considered a friendly greeting, much like the "up yours!" of a New York cabbie.

Kentucky is one of America's leading coal-mining states. Coal miners are easily recognizable by their almost Frenchman-like layer of black filth.

The state flag of Kentucky consists of a blue background behind two pickups and a still.

While attending church services in Kentucky, remember that - traditionally - the collection plate is passed BEFORE the spittoon.

They get REALLY upset when you get that wrong.

The state reality TV show of Kentucky is the Jerry Springer show, or - as it's known locally - "Southern Survivor".

When visiting a Civil War battlefield in Kentucky, try not to laugh out loud if the guide mentions how "we purt' near won that battle".

The state flower of Kentucky is Goldenrod, which should not be confused with that crappy James Bond movie starring Pierce Brosnan.

The state motto of Kentucky is "United we stand, divided we fall, drunk we pass out."

This replaced the old motto of "4 million people, 15 last names".

There are no newspapers in Kentucky, as being literate is considered snooty.

Although Kentucky is bordered by seven different states, Kentuckians rarely shop across state lines, since most stores in other states have firm "no shoes, no teeth, no service" policies.

Kentucky's nickname is the Bluegrass state.

Yeah, we all know grass is GREEN, but if you try to tell THEM that, they'll think you're just being snooty.

Kentucky is the only state in the US where drivers routinely hit their brakes before running over banjo players.

The electric lightbulb was first demonstrated at the Southern Exposition in Louisville, Kentucky in 1883, but was dismissed by locals as just another passing fad, like horseless carriages and soap.

Kentucky's name comes from the Iroquois Indian word "Ken-tah-ten", which means, "wife... sister... what's the difference?"

The state song of Kentucky is the Hee Haw Theme.

Kentucky has a population of 4 million people, all of whom are nicknamed Bubba.

Except for the women, of course, who are nicknamed Bubba Mae.

Or Auntie Mom.

The state tree of Kentucky is whichever one the Governor drives into while drunk. This week it's the tulip poplar.

The Kentucky Derby is the oldest continuously-run horse race in America, and was the inspiration for such other races as the Kentucky Stetson and the Kentucky Yarmulke.

Heather French became the first Miss America from Kentucky in 1999. She beat out Miss Alabama by correctly answering the question, "What is a toothbrush used for?"

Colonel Harlan Sanders opened his first fried chicken restaurant in Corbin, Kentucky in 1952. It was hugely successful, unlike his earlier chain of Kentucky Fried Possum.

Both Abraham Lincoln and Confederate President Jefferson Davis were born in Kentucky. They attended the same school as John Wilkes Booth, who routinely beat them both up and stole their lunch money.

The song "Happy Birthday To You" was written by two sisters from Louisville, Kentucky in 1893, and was originally titled, "I'm Too Cheap to Buy You a Present".

The first enamel bathtub was made in Louisville, Kentucky in 1856 and was immediately destroyed by a mob of angry hillbillies.

The world's largest cave is in Kentucky's Mammoth Cave National Park. Its vast, dark, emptiness is frequently compared to a Hillary Clinton presidency.

Well, that wraps up the Kentucky edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue my bathtub from angry hillbillies.
 
Fun Facts About Maryland

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, it's time to take a wrong turn at the Washington Monument and accidentally wind up in Maryland, so let's get started...

Maryland became the 7th state on April 28th, 1788 after it finally agreed to stop trying to invade Delaware to steal its oil.

The state bird of Maryland is the Oriole, which should NOT be confused with any similarly-named, chocolate-flavored, creme-filled sandwich cookies.

The state flag of Maryland is best described as, "a Picasso painting of a checkboard as interpreted by Andy Warhol while very drunk and standing on one leg."

The state flower of Maryland is the Black-Eyed Susan, or - as it's referred to by feminists - the "Justifiable Homicide Plant".

The highest point in Maryland is Backbone Mountain. It's 3360 feet tall, and has never been climbed by a Frenchman.

The state motto of Maryland is, "Yup, pretty much just a suburb of DC".

Maryland's nickname of "The Old Line State" is somewhat of a misnomer, since most of its residents prefer to freebase their cocaine.

Maryland was named after Henrietta Maria, wife of King Charles I of England. They WERE going to call is "Henriettaland", but decided that sounded too much like some kind of ****ycat-puppet-related theme park.

The lowest point in Maryland is Bloody Point Hole, at 174 feet below sea level. It used to be deeper, but Karl Rove's been using it a lot lately to dispose of "stifled dissenters", if you know what I mean.

Presidential assassin John Wilkes Booth was born in Bel Air, Maryland in 1838. Because of his high-profile crime, all US theaters now have "Marylander detectors" at each entrance as a security precaution.

Famous abolitionist Frederick Douglass was born in Tuckahoe, Maryland, which - and I can't emphasize this enough - starts with the letter "T", so really watch that left index finger while you're typing.

Another famous abolitionist - Harriet Tubman - was born in Dorchester County, Maryland and freed over 300 slaves during 20 trips between Maryland and Pennsylvania. Today, many black people honor her heroic journies by running up and down a wooden court for an hour, symbolically helping basketballs escape slavery by throwing them through "freedom hoops".

Gaithersburg, Maryland is home to the National Institute of Standards and Technology. It employs over 3000 pimply-faced geek-boys, none of whom have yet kissed a real girl.

National Anthem author Francis Scott Key was born in Frederick, Maryland, where he spent his formative years blowing stuff up and writing poetry about the explosions.

Baseball Hall-of-Famer Babe Ruth grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, and developed his legendary slugging prowess by working as a knee-cap breaker for local loan sharks.

The United States Naval Academy was founded on October 10, 1845 at Annapolis, Maryland. Coincidentally, the United States Hooker Academy was founded across the street the next day.

The first cathedral in the US was built in Baltimore, Maryland in 1821, mostly to clear the streets of the numerous drunken Irishmen passed out in the gutters.

Annapolis, Maryland once served as the capital of the US, but the Congressional building was eventually moved to Washington, D.C. to make room for the United States Hooker Academy.

The first dental school in the US opened at the University of Maryland in 1840. The early facilities were quite primitive, and the first class taught there was a course in how to make a set of dentures out of duct tape and roofing nails.

The Concord Point lighthouse is the oldest continuously operated lighthouse in Maryland, because no one in the state is smart enough to figure out how to operate the light switch.

Maryland was originally populated by confused colonists from Virginia who wandered too far north and got stuck in snowbanks.

Kind of explains the light switch thing, doesn't it?

The highest waterfall in Maryland is Muddy Creek Falls. At 63 feet tall, it's actually large enough for Michael Moore to fit underneath it, unless he's laying on his back.

In 1790 Maryland rounded up all the lawyers in the state and threw them into a fetid swamp near the southern border of the state, now known as Washington, D.C.

The first successful manned hot air balloon launch occurred in Baltimore, Maryland in 1784. The pilot - Edward Warren - reportedly described his trip as "a great way to peek down the front of women's dresses."

The state song of Maryland is "Maybe We Should've Killed Those Lawyers Before We Threw Them In That Swamp".

Well, that wraps up the Maryland edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a hot air balloon ride.

___________________
Any requests?
 
Fun Facts About Florida

Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, and I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting yet completely useless, and probably untrue, information about each of the 50 states.

This week, we'll be enjoying a trip to sunny Florida, so let's get started...

Florida became the 27th state on March 3rd, 1845, an event which most of the state's residents recall fondly from their childhoods.

Or WOULD, if it weren't for the Alzheimer's.

The state flag of Florida was eaten by an alligator, so I have no idea what it looks like.

The knee is Florida's official state arthritic joint.

The largest private employer in Florida is Disney World. The second largest is the company that makes "this ride closed for repairs" signs.

After the Presidential election disaster in 2000, Florida passed a law making it illegal to vote without first removing your souvenier Mickey Mouse gloves.

The most common cause of death in Florida is being run over by old women who mistakenly voted for Pat Buchanan.

The second most common is getting run over by '57 Chevys that wash up on Miami Beach from Cuba.

The state bird of Florida is the Pink Flamingo, a feisty animal which is actually capable of killing a fully grown alligator, thanks to Floridas new concealed carry law.

Although most Floridians don't speak with a strong southern accent, they DO tend to pronounce the word "hurricane" as "Oh, SH**!"

Janet Reno was born in Miami, Florida, and only returned to the state because her magic mirror told her that Elian Gonzales was fairer than she.

Twice yearly, Florida is victimized by uncontrollable destructive forces which lay waste to the state. These times are known as "hurricane season" and "spring break".

The state reptile of Florida is the alligator, which subsists on a diet of fish, birds, and Japanese tourists.

The state song of Florida is "Grandpa, Don't Wear That Speedo to the Beach".

If a hurricane strikes while you're in Florida, just hand over your wallet and no one will get hurt.

Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon discovered Florida in 1513 while searching for the legendary Fountain of Orange Juice.

Despite the fact that the temperature never gets below freezing, Florida has a professional ice hockey team, which... nah, no one's gonna believe that one.

People from Florida are easy to spot on the road. They're the ones driving around with sheets of plywood nailed over their car windows.

If you move to Florida, buy a house with a colorful roof so that you can easily find it after it gets blown down the street by a hurricane.

When visiting Seaworld in Orlando, be sure to stop by the restaurant for the "slow learner sandwich" special.

Native Floridians never wear sunglasses because they have a special, inner third eyelid to keep out the sun's harmful rays.

Florida's Disney World is technically in a state of war with California's Disneyland, and the two theme parks exchange nuclear strikes several times a year.

The University of Florida's football team is named the Gators in honor of the millions of alligators milked each year to make Gatorade.

Neil Smith of Montverde, Florida, invented the riding lawn mower in 1933, adding to the list of useful things that Floridians could have blown away during a hurricane.

The state tree of Florida is the Palm Tree - so named because that's the part of your body that will be scraped raw if you try to climb it.

While in Florida, NEVER try to climb any sort of nut tree.

The Everglades in Florida is 2100 square miles of smelly, oozing, mosquito-infested muck. Most Florida natives still refer to it by its original name the "The Cesspool National Park".

Passing the test for a driver's license in Florida requires that you be able to make a right turn from the left lane across 3 lanes of traffic. Or so I assume from what I saw last time I was there.

Despite rumors to the contrary, "Florida oysters" is NOT a euphemism for boiled alligator testicles.

However, eating Florida oysters WILL cause you to grow a special, inner third eyelid.

The state flower of Florida is the Orange Blossom, which is a small, white flower with an insatiable hunger for human flesh.

The refrigerator was invented in Florida in 1921. This represented a great technological leap forward, as now Floridians had a place to store their melted ice cream when the power went out.

That wraps up the Florida edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go milk me some fresh Gatorade.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top